![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Sep. 29th, 2004 10:40 pmI'm starting to have doubts about my decision to change out of the music school.
However upon further examination of these feelings I know that it's not because I'll regret not having theory, or Lit anymore. I think I've started to realize that I'm actually scared shitless to leave.
I'm scared to leave the support system that I've set up for myself and try to build a new one. I'm scared to leave the 24 hour contact with everyone at all times, don't ask me why but I like that. I think it's growing up in a very close knit family, I like having people around me 24/7 to just bounce random ideas off of and shoot the shit with.
I guess it's hitting me that I'd be leaving the most positive social atmosphere I have ever been in and throwing myself into the...the wide ocean that is college life outside the music school.
I suppose some part of me would rather have the familiar yet live in misery than jump off the cliff and possibly not be miserable.
Damn it...my head's gonna explode.
However upon further examination of these feelings I know that it's not because I'll regret not having theory, or Lit anymore. I think I've started to realize that I'm actually scared shitless to leave.
I'm scared to leave the support system that I've set up for myself and try to build a new one. I'm scared to leave the 24 hour contact with everyone at all times, don't ask me why but I like that. I think it's growing up in a very close knit family, I like having people around me 24/7 to just bounce random ideas off of and shoot the shit with.
I guess it's hitting me that I'd be leaving the most positive social atmosphere I have ever been in and throwing myself into the...the wide ocean that is college life outside the music school.
I suppose some part of me would rather have the familiar yet live in misery than jump off the cliff and possibly not be miserable.
Damn it...my head's gonna explode.
