Bleh

Heh....I should start posting more, but honestly nothing of much worth has happened lately. Well actually, too much stuff has happened lately and I've been really busy trying to keep up with it all. 

So here we go, personal stuff. Which, as usual is inexorably tied in with school stuff. 

I have decided after much deliberation to go back on my ADD medication. I kinda weaned myself off of it the summer between junior and senior year. I got tired of the mood swings and the insomnia. I got sick of felling like a mutant because I had to take these pills to be normal. I thought I had a good enough coping mechanisms to handle college without it.

 Boy was I wrong.  

Last semester I did all right... pulled off a 3.1 and survived. This semester however... has kicked my ass with a vengeance. I have a 65 right now in Biological Anthropology and unless I get at least a B on my Theory test I'm going to get a crapyish grade in there. I also have a piano test tomorrow and I'm really not all that prepared for it. I can't concentrate, my room is completely trashed and I can't find anything. For some reason lately it feels like everything is falling apart.

 And the round up of the week so far! 

Monday 

Monday I got to see the shrink finally after missing last Monday and then trying to get in on Wednesday and failing at that. (Long useless story) At one point I ended up saying something like this,

 "Everything is just bleh. I mean I have fun with my friends and all, but everything else is just Bleh. School? Bleh, life? bleh, get a bad test grade? bleh, give a good performance? bleh." 

And she responded, "Life isn't supposed to be bleh" 

She wants to recommend anti-depressants but she's going to wait to see what the Ritalin does. 

After the discussion I realized my life has always been bleh. I can't pinpoint a time when it switched but at one point I was a happy child and now I'm not. I have to get energy up to care about anything and I've been that way for a long time. 

Tuesday 

Argh Tuesday was my hell day I had to sing at area, got my aural test back from Heim (the theory wacko) I did horribly ::bleck:: and take a diction test in German pronunciation. (Please just shoot me now...) Anyway I survived and am still standing luckily. onthestairs   showed me the teaser for her West Wing spec and she has Josh and Donna banter down pretty well. But yeah... after dinner everyone just went his or her separate ways and that was that. All in all not a bad Tuesday. 

Today so far has been ok. We have our recording session for Pater Noster today during choir. I hope it all goes well and that more sopranos show up. On Monday poor Amanda (mandatarryn  ) had to carry the soli soprano part herself. Someone jumped in and sight-read so she wouldn't be by herself but the new person didn't do so well. 

Anyway I'm digressing into the land of useless chatter...

SPRING BREAK! 2 DAYS AND COUNTING!